I asked if she wanted a drink she said sure I grabbed to Budweiser and apologized for not having anything else we sat on the couch. And I turned on the TV she picked a movie on the rent able section it was cowboys and aliens which was a pretty good movie from what I seen most of the movie I caught my eyes wondering up and down her amazing body a couple of the times she must have noticed but still seemed relaxed. About half way through the movie she said she was cold so I grabbed the blanket of the bed and put it over us she took the move by cuddling against me my right hand went behind her back and rested firmly on her ass. Her hand was on the inside of my thigh which was all it took to get me hard as a rock I started to move my hand in circles on her. Ass putting just enough pressure to make sure she could feel it but not enough to make it seem like I was some horny school nerd that was just trying to bust a nut she then began sliding her hand across the inside of my thigh just. I never will forget the reaction that I got from her seeingme in the tutu. She started laughing. Now I don't want any of this to soundlike I blame her for of my problems as it would have been the normalreaction to seeing a boy dressed as femenine as the most girly girl. Mom, Iunderstand and your reaction was not your fault. The fault was all mine when I didn't tell you how I felt about wanting,wishing, praying that I would wake up one day as I felt I was inside. Eversince then I thought that if I didn't keep my thoughts a secret that i woudbe laughed at, scorned, or critisized. This is one instance that I let myfears get the better of me. I tried do hard to just fit in but it was to no avail. It was as if I wasin the middle of a step and just past the point of no return I found outthat I had ran out road falling flat on my face. I tried to just forgetabout it and was successful from my freshman year till age 24. It was amistake that nearly cost me my life on more that a few.
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